Some tough emotions for all

It is 3:30 am and since my head is racing I decided to get up and make bottles and hope Ingrid sleeps a bit longer. Emotions a starting to hit with the family. Oskar is bothered by Ingrid's crying and reminds me not to look at her so she won't cry and Ike is bothered at the reasons she is crying.  Bjorn feels so bad for her. We have talked about Ingrid grieving what she had and she certainly is in the process right now. We know she was in shock the first day and last night cried a very angry cry. Matt could not even console her as she fell asleep saying over and over "mama, mama!".  I tell her mama is here and hold her but we know this will all take time.  In the mean time mom cries silent tears and she wails in grief.  We took a walk to Walmart yesterday to get a few things. It was arrest educational walk for the boys. There was pollution and traffic with no one watching for pedestrians, honking ad street side vendors with mystery meats and smells through the entire 30 minute walk. We saw children squatting to urinate right on the street (many wear pants with a giant slit in in t seat of their pants for that reason), and one of the toughest things to see were the beggars. One an was so disfigured it was really tough for even Matt and I to see. People stared at us as we have discovered this is not like Beijing or other areas of China where they are used to seeing lots of European-heritage people.   Ingrid's stare at me in bed the first morning was similar.... why are you here and why aren't your eyes brown? Four boys are a novelty in this country and throw in a few blondes holding a Chinese baby and the stares make sense. We talked about the injustice in life for orphans and beggars.  We talked about why God "let's this happen" and about communism and the Chinese protesting Japan in the streets around us. Talk about heavy topics.... Walmart was a great experience nothing like a Walmart in US or even other countries where we have been.  Nothing was in English and the employees found it funny when Kris and Oskar had to demonstrate the potty dance to get them to understand that we needed directions to the restroom! I guess our Chinese pronunciation for that is not correct. The boys saw more mystery foods in the store than they have ever seen. Again, and educational but kind of tough day. This morning we are driving 3 hours to Ingrid's orphanage. It is expensive and long and I know it will be tough. Praying for strength and patience just to get there and then peace for our boys as they process it all. For our tender guys they are already showing their emotions. For Ingrid we are praying for closure of one care and a beginning with her family. We hope to have pictures to someday show her where she spent her first 18 months.  We hope this at some point will be a healing trip.
We did go swimming last night and when I can turn on the lights will post a few more pictures.
xoxoxxoo
Kris