Orphanage visit and more

We were thinking we would have one of the boys blog about the visit to Ingrid's orphanage today.  That plan is similar to the chalk-talk game plan I had where we would receive Ingrid and give her
M and M's for distraction and she would ease into our family. That was Plan A.  We are now on Plan J.   (Ingrid has only had formula, cereal, and congee.  M and M's are not  a motivating factor!)
Today we had no expectations.  Our goal was to see where Ingird spent her first 18 months of life.  We trusted God would unfold to each of us what He wanted us to see and remember.   There was so much to absorb and as our boys process it all, hoping they will share too.  Before I start the love story  of Xingling, I'll share how the Andersons departed  this morning.
Bjorn is stomach-sick, laying down at breakfast on the chairs, Ingrid screams if I look at her so Isaac has asked me not to be in the same room as her, and Oskar asks if he can stay back at the hotel by himself and watch TV instead of going to the orphnage.   We still make it to the lobby after finding medicine to make Bjorn's travel possible, Ingrid continues to cry if I make eye contact, and we convince Oskar it will be ok to come with us (actually we tell him he will lose his itouch for a month if he doesn't come and promise cartoons upon return).  We are ready to load the van when Noah forgets his backpack with his important homework and comes running down in a panic that all his homework and papers are wet from a spilled water bottle in his pack.  Needles to say, that is how our 3 hour drive started out.  One drugged up to travel, one bribed to come, one scared to death, and one drying out his homework, and our new little one crying for the first hour through bumpy, scary roads.
We arrived in Nanchang and met for lunch with the orphanage director, a few care givers and our guide.  When we stepped out of our van one of the women grabbed Ingrid out of Matts arms and walked away with her crying.  It was quite unsettling for us.  She continued to cry as they tried to give her a new bottle, and didn't settle down until 15 minutes later when I finally told them through the guide that she needed to be given to Matt.  So sweet to see the giant heaving sobs turn to
whimpers and then quiet clinging to her daddy .
  The lunch in a restaurant was at first a bit uncomfortable with four Chinese women staring across the table at our four boys who were trying to look excited about all of the food placed before them.  We started asking questions about Xinling... who she played with, what she ate, how many children were in the orphanage, and about her surgery.  We laughed at Oskar's silly acts, enjoyed authentic Chinese food, and relished in the fact that this was a day about Ingrid.  A day to find out all about her past 18 months with the people who cared for her.  They were delightful women and we then headed to the gates of the ShangRao City Society Welfare Home.  As we walked in we were greeted by 5 or  6 little boys ages 2-8.  They were sweet boys with different special needs.  Suddenly all kinds of firecrackers went off behind our van.  Oskar ran to us, but as we saw the faces of the orphanage workers we realized this was a planned celebration of sorts for our visit! The orphanage was open and airy.  Beyond that it was very hard to see.  There are no toys or books or carpet.  There are no bright walls or child-friendly rooms.  The cold metal cribs are lined up all in one room and have a thin woven mat over the wooden base.  It smells damp and musty.  The walls are cement and are chipping.  The play area has children in walkers or sitting on portable potty chairs.  One woman is going from child to child feeding some porridge to each with the same spoon.  We saw Ingrid's  place to play.  It was a cement area with some empty plastic water bottles and flies all around.  That was it.  Her friend was a little boy 6 months older who had the same heart surgery at the same time.  He is still at the orphanage, not adopted, and they fear the surgery was not succesful because his lips are often blue.  We took a picture of Ingrid and her friend in the play area, the look on both of their faces was not one we would expect.  No smiles, just a sad look.  We were not allowed to take pictures inside the orphanage itself, but this one they allowed.  The crib area had some beds on the cement floor for the older boys.  There were a few boys with mulitple facial disformaties, one blind, one deaf, and then the newest little 2 month old we saw lying in the crib.  He looked like he had been left in the crib a long time.  No one to pick him up, no one to hold him when he cried..  He just lay there.   He smiled when we made eye contact, and truly that is when my heart just broke.  These are God's children.  They are children who deserve at minimum to be held and bathed and fed and cared for.  And it wasn't happening, at least not the way we feel it should be.  No singing or books or color.  No toys or stimulation.  No dancing or lullabies or ..... I could go on and on.  The chipping cement walls, cold floors, moldy stench, flies, and then the little infant lying in the crib said it all for me.

We did meet two grandmothers that truly must have been the ones that cared for Ingrid the most.  She was calm when they held her and we were able to hug them and thank them for caring for and loving Xinling.  What a blessing they were to her as we saw glimpses of love and caring in this dismal setting.  We gathered outside for pictures by the gate where she was left.  We do wonder abut her birth parents... how hard it must have been for them to leave this precious baby at the gate that cool May morning.  We pray for them.  We pray for the caretakers at the orphanage and oh do we pray for all of those little boys that we met.  Our boys played with these boys, enjoyed giving them candy corn and making up games.  They are beautiful boys and we pray they can be adopted soon!
Our day ended with a sense of sadness for the children at the orphanage and for the environment Ingrid lived in for 18 months.  Yet we also felt such joy in seeing the grandmothers who cared for Ingrid and knowing her story.  She was left at the gate at 8:00 am on a cool May morning and found by the gate keeper to the orphanage.   She was wrapped in a blanket and had a tag with her birthdate.  She had a bag with a small bottle of formula, water, and 100 yuan ($16).  That is the beginning of Ingrid Xinlings story.  We are so thankful for this experience and to know God was with her from the moment she was in her mother's womb to her morning at the gate, to the time in the orphanage to now.  And forever.  Praise God that he loves us so much to be with us no matter our circumstances.